Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
