I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize