Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
