Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
how does that bad decision feel?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
