It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
