In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
