i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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