Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
