hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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