all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
