But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
