Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
