ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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