just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
