She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
