did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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