I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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