I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
