I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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