spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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