So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
