duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
