Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize