The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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