I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
