Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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