Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Randomize
