Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
