She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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