where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
