Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
