Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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