drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
