when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
