Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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