I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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