Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
