That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
