It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
