There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
