I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
