Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
