I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
