My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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