really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Ladies don't puke and tell
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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