So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
