dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
