now i know why i became what i already was.
Ketchup is God's man juice
this boner is exhausting
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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