I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
