his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
